Personal transformation

“Personal transformation can and does have global effects. As we go, so goes the world, for the world is in us.  The revolution that will save the world is ultimately a personal one.” M. Williamson,  A Course in Miracles

It is a three-day weekend, and for one morning of life in my sixth decade, I am choosing to write, as opposed to look at my email.  Perhaps later, when I do skim through the 75 or so messages, delivered to ‘alert’ me to the dysfunction of American society, I will begin to unsubscribe to half of them, and dedicate that time to ruminating and writing.

  I have been relieved of a time- consuming academic job at work. It is the type of administrative thing with a lot of ‘academise’ hoo haw that kept me from becoming a teacher forty years ago.  (Or was that my desire to be on stage?)  I will still be involved in this school accreditation, but not as a “chair”.  Hallelujah.  Thus, those other eight hours of my Holiday weekend can be devoted to me and my wonderful soon-to-be sixty-five year old self.

First rumination  - Personal transformation. As I grow ‘wiser’ (please note foregoing the use of the term  ‘older’) this spiritual journey of transformation is the thing.  Joyously, I have found someone to act as my spiritual guide. Jagadish, a guy who grew up in the San Fernando Valley, studied in India for 30 years or so, and then returned to help ‘evolve the planet’. 

His tradition is ‘Rasik’.  Apparently, there are all sorts of Hindi sects, Rasik being one of them.  Jagadish holds no judgment over who is the Godhead; his mission is to deepen your relationship with God, be that Jesus, Buddha, Mohammed or whomever.

 This appeals to me.  It has always seemed to me that all masters are teaching similar lessons.  Simply, they are clothed in different ways to approach their different cultures.  His humility speaks to me too, as does his gentle humor. 

His 90 year old mother is always at his gatherings.

 “Sylvia, can you hear me?” he projects his voice.

“Drink some water.” 

Sylvia’s eyes twinkle as she replies, “Yes sir”

Sylvia is sharp, taught sacred Hawaiian dancing in younger years, and is a cutie.  I project that one of my loved ones might nurture me in such a way.

Last weekend I attended a two-day workshop at his home in the Valley. This is about the fifth session I have had with Jagadish.  This intensive was with ‘Sri Ganesh’ – a Hindi deity who removes obstacles, and in that tradition is always invoked for prosperity.  Ganesh is depicted as an  elephant figure. One of the tusks is straight, clearing any obstacles, the other is curved – just in case you might need to re-think whatever kind of prosperity you want. Sometimes what we want comes with challenges that have to be addressed.

The aftermath is great happiness. My heart feels more open, fuller, more able to cope with the insanity of my workplace – the ‘joint’, a medical prison facility where I teach GED and Adult Education.

Of course whenever I do these ‘woo woo’ things, there is my sister’s voice in the back of my head.

 ‘Delou, you are always doing this kind of thing. “ 

“You always say, ‘Life is good,’ but you’re just running away from the deep sadness in your heart from Daddy dying when you were five.”

Once again, I question the validity.  Will these ‘sacred objects’ (blessed cards,  sacred blue lights) really do the thing? Or is it just my belief that they will facilitate the change in my circumstances?

And of course, what does that matter? Truly?  If I am feeling lighter in my heart, laughing more with my inmates as we go through the mandated 15 minute stretching exercises each class period,  feeling more optimistic,  why should I question with my monkey mind?   

I note that one of most interesting things that resulted from last weekend’s work is -  I am wanting to let go of any other meditative practices.  I find  so many of these discussions fascinating and there are hundreds of them online. I have been eating them up since New York days, Silva Mind Control, Seth Speaks, Tom Kenyon and the Hathors.  They speak of the change that is upon us; we have all come here to be part of that change. Get on board with meditation, or tapping, or positive affirmations. 

Surely, Williamson’s quotes and the ‘Course in Miracles’ was one of the earlier ‘enlightenment’ paths, in the ‘Age of Aquarius’.  But of course, enlightenment has been there for us since man first evolved.  We just have been hiding behind the veil making our way forward.

At any rate, although I wasn’t much of a church goer as a child – except for the summer and winter I was an actor in the local church plays – it is now apparent that the pursuit is to find the way to God.  The clearer that becomes, the more all the other ‘manifestation’ issues make their way.

At its center I no longer need to be looking for that ‘soulmate’ connection.  Maybe it will come front and center sometime soon, for now it is enough to guide my heart toward opening, period.  Guess what?  It is feeling just that.